Saul Bellow’s ‘Dangling Man’ is a short Novel in the form of a journal. The journal keeper is an
unemployed history graduate, supported by his working wife. The book explores how he came to the condition of his present inertia (he abandoned an attempt at philosophical essays), and began to ‘dangle’. I chanced upon this in the library and for some reason felt compelled to devote some time to it. I just wanted to reproduce a couple of passages at length to give a flavour.
Great pressure is brought to bear to make us understand ourselves. On the other hand, civilization teaches us that each of us is an inestimable prize. There are, then, these two preparations: one for life and the other for death. Therefore we value and are ashamed to value ourselves, are hard boiled. We are schooled in quietness and, if one of us takes his measure occasionally, he does so cooly, as if he were examining hi fingernails, not his soul, frowning at the imperfections he finds as one would at a chip or a bit of dirt. Because, of course, we are all called upon to accept the imposition of of all kinds of wrongs, to wait in ranks under a hot sun, to run up a clattering beach, to be sentries, scouts or workingmen, to be those in the train when it is blown up, or those at the gates when they are locked, to be of no significance, to die. The result is that we learn to be unfeeling towards ourselves and incurious. Who can be the earnest huntsman of himself when he knows he is in turn a quarry? Or nothing so distinctive as quarry, but one of a shoal, driven toward the weirs.
But I must know what I myself am.
And earlier in the novel he writes:
Shall my life by one-thousandth of an inch fall short of its ultimate possibility? It is a different thing to value oneself, and to prize oneself crazily. And then there are our plans, idealizations. These are dangerous, too. They can consume us like parasites, eat us, drink us, and leave us lifelessly prostrate. And yet we are always inviting the parasite, as if we were eager to be drained and eaten.
Is it because we have been taught there is no limit to what a man can be. Satan and the Church, representing god, did battle over him. He, by reason of his choice, partially decided the outcome. But whether, after life, he went to hell or to heaven, his place among other men was given. It could not be contested. But, since, the stage has been reset and human beings only walk on it, and, under this revision, we have, instead, history to answer to. We were important enough then for our souls to be fought over. Now, each of us is responsible for his own salvation, which is in his greatness. And that, that greatness, is the rock our hearts are abraded on. Great minds, great beauties, great lovers and criminals surround us. From the great sadness and desperation of Werthers and Don Juans we went to the great ruling images of Napoleons; from these to murderers who had the right over victims because they were greater than the victims; to men who felt privileged to approach others with a whip; to schoolboys and clerks who roared like revolutionary lions; to those pimps and subway creatures, debaters in midnight cafeterias who believed they could be great in treachery and catch the throats of those they felt were sound and well in the lassos of their morbidity; to dreams of dreams of greatly beautiful shadows embracing on a flawless screen. Because of these things we hate immoderately and punish ourselves and one another immoderately. The fear of lagging pursues and maddens us. The fear lies in us like a cloud. It makes an inner climate of darkness. And occasionally there is a storm of hate and wounding rain out of us.
I suppose the late great novelist must have been about my age when he wrote Dangling Man, his first published novel. War hangs heavily over the book and clearly the author was influenced by European literature of the previous couple of decades. But there’s clearly something universal in the existential angst he captures in these two passages, the precise nature of the protagonist’s circumstance aside. Bellow, for me, is up there with the very best – among the authors that help one make sense of one’s own life.